Down Time

What do you do for your down time? How do you define down time? Personally, I define down time as those times during the day my mind wonders off and takes me to another, less experienced reality. Like now. My conductor is usually music, which steers my emotions, passion and dreams. 

What's yours?

2013 Worlds Most Exciting Fight - Marcus Buchecha vs Bernardo Faria

What, RayRay???

Daniela and our son, Naim AKA Nubian Priest.  Rest in Paradise, 3!

The person you sleep with is very significant. The first face you see in the morning is the energy boosting or energy draining mechanism, which defines your motivation or lack there of.  

Why do you wake up in the morning?

Why do you work hard like you do?

What are your core morals and what do they focus on?

Know your purpose… today’s Mathematics: Knowledge-Cipher.

Today, my grandfather is being laid to rest back to the essence. I didn’t grow up with him, but I’m his manifestation.

PEACE

"Morning Focus!!!"

I caught a huge yawn this morning to wake up around 5AM. Hahahahaha… after a 14-hour day on a Friday; whoa!!! I stay true to my philosophy of practicing a new level of capitalism in this new chapter of my life. Holla at y’all later, I’m out to get it.

“Get’em!!!!!”

Wisconsin Unemployment, Circa 2009

This article was done on our family in 2009 when we were going through a serious financial pitfall. I love the picture. 

Radolph Matthews, 39, of Milwaukee, Wis., talks with his youngest son, Naim, 3, Wednesday, Dec. 16, 2009, about what he would like for Christmas. 

Matthews, who has a master's degree in business administration, lost his job Oct. 1.Matthews and his wife, Daniela, along with their four children, are living on Daniela's income and Matthews' unemployment checks. Matthews initially received some severance money and the family had a small savings, but this month, Daniela says, the family is beginning to feel the pinch. "Now with the holidays, and then ... our car insurance," Daniela said. "Now the taxes are coming out, getting the car winterized." Everything is starting to add up, she says.  

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Daniela Matthews (right), of Milwaukee, Wis., listens to her children, N'Kya (left), 8, and Nile (second from left), 10, argue while Naim (center), 3, chimes in. Matthews' husband, Radolph, lost his job Oct. 1. In Milwaukee, Wis., the unemployment rate among African Americans is 22 percent, higher than any other state.  

na-milwaukee

"I expect them to be honor roll students," Radolph Matthews (left), 39, of Milwaukee, Wis., says of his four children, ages 12, 10, 8 and 3. All of the Matthews children get outstanding grades. Nile (right), 10, goes over some homework with his father. Matthews, who has a master's degree in business administration, lost his job Oct. 1.The family is living on unemployment checks and Daniela Matthews' income as a legislative assistant for the Milwaukee County Board. 

na-milwaukee

Daniela Matthews, 33, of Milwaukee, Wis., walks into a local grocery store with her daughter, N'Kya, 8, Wednesday, Dec. 16, 2009. Matthews needed to pick up some groceries to make the family tacos for dinner. Matthews' husband, Radolph, lost his job Oct. 1. Since then, the family has been living on unemployment checks and Daniela Matthews' income as a legislative assistant for the Milwaukee County Board. 

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She decided to just bring soda to her work Christmas party this year, says Daniela Matthews (center), of Milwaukee, Wis., while shopping at a local grocery store with her daughter, N'Kya, 8. Since Daniela Matthews' husband, Radolph, lost his jobOct. 1, the family has been intensely busy. When Daniela Matthews is not working her full-time job as a legislative assistant, she continues to take care of her family, allowing her husband time to search for a new job.  

na-milwaukee

As Ja'veon Brooks, 4 months, sleeps in the shopping cart, Daniela Matthews (right), of Milwaukee, Wis., hands some baby food to her sister, Sheyenne Porter (Ja'veon's mother), who is living with Matthews and her husband, Radolph, along with the four Matthews children. Although Brooks has a degree in medical assisting, she has been unable to find a job. Radolph Matthews lost his job Oct. 1, so the entire family is living on Daniela Matthews' income as a legislative assistant, along with Radolph Matthews' unemployment checks.  

na-milwaukee

As Daniela Matthews, 33, of Milwaukee, Wis., prepares dinner Wednesday, Dec. 16, 2009, her husband, Radolph Matthews, tells her that one of his friends received his blue belt in jujitsu. Radolph Matthews and his children are all heavily involved in the sport. Since he lost his jobOct. 1, the jujitsu club the family members go to gave them a financial break and helped pay for their lessons.  

From A Kid’s Perspective

Obie, Solo, Eli, Delo, Alex, Terrell, Nas, Nile, N'kya and Naim

Yesterday, while shopping at the grocery store with my three older children, a cashier stated he was having a “Not-so-well” day because George Zimmerman may be acquitted. The Zimmerman/Martin Case has grown and become, to many people, an important and emotional case in American social occurrences. It’s been divided based on Zimmerman, a white male, shooting and killing Trayvon Martin, a young African-American male. Honestly, in the beginning, I found myself in a conflicted position. Being African-American, I was initially angry and described the shooting as another example of the racist ideologies, which have forged ignorance of racial divide in America; initially. Then as a gun enthusiast, advocate of civilian conceal and carry, I saw myself jump to the conservative defense of ‘Self-Defense” in the case. Once again, I saw myself jump back to across that divide as a parent of three young African-American males (and one daughter, who’s African-American as well). So it would be safe to say, I’m finding myself on the fence of the Zimmerman/Martin issue.

My Family

While driving home with a truck full of groceries, I turned the radio on and listened to some Meek Mills with the kids. I had totally forgotten, that quickly, about the conversation with the Wal-Mart cashier. Nearly halfway home, my second oldest, Nile, asked a question. Nile asked, “Dad, I know the type of person you are. What do you think about Zimmerman and Martin?” The question set an alternate tone in the truck from enjoying Meek Mills to a serious topic. I mean my 14-year old son wanted to know my opinion on an issue that directly affected him and his siblings. It affects all of his cousins and his entire community. I was obligated to answer honestly; both as a father and an African-American male.

Me and the boys

I told my children, I feel this case is a horror and Zimmerman should be convicted because he unquestionably racial profiled Trayvon. I told them from my experiences as an African-American, I am appalled because this is another example of African-Americans being murdered and nothing happening. I told him what most African-Americans and liberal thinking people would have said. Then my 12-year old daughter said, “I just don’t understand why everyone is so upset and making a huge fuss about Zimmerman shooting Trayvon…” My eyes cut as I glared back to her in the back of the truck. “I mean, I feel bad for him, but why is this one different?”

N'kya

My heart sank. This is my daughter. A product of Daniela and I. I mean, we believe in our culture, people, race and our way of life and the idea of fighting for racial/cultural injustices. What is my daughter talking about? Then I noticed my 15-year old and 14-year old sons in agreement with her statement. I had to ask, “What do you mean?”

Then the unexpected happened. Nile, my 14-year old who initiated the conversation said, “Mark Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, right?”

“Yes!” I replied.

“And this has become a very important issue in our country because a white man shot and killed a young black boy, right?” He continued.

Okay, Nile has the basic idea. I was nervous for a second.

Nile: Always so serious

Then he continued, “So Dad, why is Zimmerman, a white man killing Trayvon, a black boy getting more press and more community anger from the African-American community than the many killings in Milwaukee and around the country of young black boys by other young black boys?”  

WHOA!!!!!

My children asked why it was more concerning and more pressing, more news worth that Zimmerman killed Trayvon, a white man killing a black boy than the multitudes of black on black murders in Milwaukee and around the country.

Nasir with his Mom

My oldest, Nasir chimed in saying, “Honestly, I think it’s worse when we kill one another. It’s genocide!”

WOW!!!

My children are truly products of their culture. At 15, 14 and 12-years old, our children have more understanding on issues that our community faces on a daily basis. These three young African-American children, who live in Milwaukee’s inner-city amongst other African-American youth find it more important to deal with the murders around their community by those in their community than a murder issue based on issues not directly affecting them. I applaud you Nasir, Nile and N’kya for having the wear-with-all to express yourselves and develop your own thoughts and ideologies on this matter. You have truly taught the teacher. Your mother would be so proud of you.    

Daniela and Ray Ray's Family

"Content, Not So Happy..."

I have to say, I'm not happy. Okay, I said it. Now can I go on living? Is it worth living? Damn, I sound so drab and even suicidal, but don't worry, I'm not doing that. My children need me. When my wife passed away, she was content because she knew I'd take care of our children. I know what she expects and my life is dedicated to loving our children and continuing what she and I planned for them and our family. Daniela is with me every minute of everyday. I think about her in every aspect of everything I do. My heart won't allow me not to remember how much we loved one another. I have to organize my mental chambers into three areas: Our Children, My Wife and Myself. 

It's tolerable throughout the day, but late at night when I'm in bed, on her side of the bed, cuddling with her pillow that doesn't smell like her as it used to, I feel the pain and loneliness of missing my soulmate. I wonder what she's thinking when she looks upon the children and I in this new existence without her. I wonder of she's disappointed in me for not being... No worries. I'm good. All in all, as I said, I'm not happy, but I know my duties and am content to accomplishing them to make Daniela proud so I can feel her smile in my heart. ❤❤❤