"Finding Your Jiu Jitsu!!!"

The past, nearly, two years have been a test for my family and I, literally!!! So many obstacles and some many disappointments, but through the divine guidance of God, we’ve survived and continue to do so.

You’ve heard me mention on several occasions that I’ve gone to several Jiu Jitsu academies and trained under as many coaches. Finding a Jiu Jitsu Academy and Coach is like anything else worth-wild. “Why can’t I train where I feel comfortable for me?” If you are interested in Gracie Jiu JItsu and want to join a school, academy, gym, facility, or center, you should do in-depth research first.

1.    Finding Jiu Jitsu in Your Area: Today, in 2011, Gracie Jitsu isn’t that hard to find. Someone, somewhere near you has a training facility with a group of guys/gals training. Go to you search engine and Google “Jiu Jitsu” in your area.

2.    Making Contact: Most Jiu Jitsu academies don’t mind for you to drop in. actually, they welcome it because that’s how they catch most new recruits. Introduce yourself to the students and coaches and ask to watch a class or two. Don’t make your decision on watching the class. Although, you get to see the coaches interact with the students, you still have work to do in choosing if this is the academy for you or not.

3.    What Do You Want From Jiu Jitsu: Many people coming into Jiu Jitsu want to train to strengthen their ground game for MMA. MMA is only one aspect why people train. Some people want to compete in grappling/Jiu Jitsu tournaments like Grapplers Quest or NAGA. Others don’t want to compete and want to train “strictly” for self-defense. You should know this before even researching. What do you want from Jiu Jitsu?

4.    What Does This Academy Offer: Today, you have what I call super-academies popping up and have multiple focuses such as; Jiu Jitsu, Mauy Thai, MMA, Combat Cardio-training, etc. These are cool!!! Some academies are Jiu Jitsu only, which is cool, too!! Where ever your academy offers make sure it’s what you need. Do they offer a family rate? Is there a kid’s program?

5.    How Much Does it Cost: Jiu Jitsu academies charge higher fees than Karate and Tae Kwon Do academies. I don’t know why, but they do. Maybe because Jiu Jitsu is the new art and new kid on the block. With the number of coaches and academies teaching Jiu Jitsu, you can find an academy in your cost range.

6.    Who is the Instructor: There are 3 factors to look at when searching for an academy about the instructor you should pay focus to. What rank is the instructor? You should be looking for a Black Belt instructor, but nothing less than a Brown Belt. Is the instructor an active-competitor? You need to find a coach that is battle tested. I mean what can a person tell you about baking cakes if they don’t bake cakes anymore? Is the guy a douche? Many guys out there are cocky, thinking they know everything and never listening to other instructors’ opinions. Find a coach who you can become friends/family with and whom you are very comfortable with.

I’ve traveled a long hard road and finally, I’ve reached my first stop. Now, I reassess myself and create new long and short term goals to reach my next goals.

Today is only the beginning!!!          

Count Down to a New World!!!

This weekend will mark the coming together of many years of indecisiveness and wonder. New friendships and broken ones forged and destroyed on the most telling battlefields of our day…THE MAT! I have always loaned my loyalty to those I had faith in. Many times my faith was proven (in their eyes) not worthy of their alliances. Today I stand at the crossroad of opportunity. The opportunity to erase the past and begin again while moving strategically forward. We know the past and experience the present. The future is that wonder and without foresight, we must adapt ourselves accordingly.

"We Good!"

Hey, great morning all!!! Last night was WILD!!!! The wife threw a Ladies Night Bash and it was off the meter. They started at the house and moved over to Breeze’s on 4^th & Rez. All the ladies who attended were heavy hitters and loved it because we let them get loose without the concern of judgment from their employees or constituents. I was crackin’ a rib, though, :0!!!

This post is to you all just to get an understanding. I love my family and especially my amazing wife. With that said, I defend and protect her to the fullest on ever level. Knowing that, I realize there are some things that are out of my control. If you and my wife have beef, we have beef. If my wife tells you there’s no beef, we have no beef. I post my opinion because that’s what I do, but if anyone has an issue with my posts or anything you’ve seen or read from me via social networking, holla at your boy!! The beauty of being in America is we have the right to speak freely without repercussion. No worries, dude, we’re good. Do you!!!

Today, I’m at the tattoo shop on MLK Drive; come holla at me because it’s always P.E.A.C.E. or give me a call. We can build anytime, lord!!

                        Daniela's Africa and Bhudda by Lane Turowski of 3062 Tattoo Gallery.  

"The Winds of Change!"

It amazes me that people get caught up in the drama of change. All change, although not always positive, is not always negative either. My better half is currently dealing with the realism of change and the honest nature of man.

When I was young, my dad would ask me questions and inquire on my behavior and such. Now, being a cop, my dad knew when I was lying or hiding something. He would ask me several questions in different tones and in different ways. He would wait for a few minutes then ask the question again. After a few minutes, I would stumble and fall apart spilling the beans on myself. My dad always said, “People who are unable to feel comfortable telling lies will always fall apart and show their true selves.” He went on to say, “This is true with the character of a man as well. You need to observe a man for a period of time before his true nature or true motives are exposed.” It is hard for a funny guy to be serious, just as it is hard for an angry man to smile. His true nature will always expose his trueness.

This is a lesson I must take hold and cherish in my soul and heart. I had faith in the idea two people could take on the machine and truly make efforts to assist and redevelop the mental pycho–social ideologies so many of our indigent youth and citizens are suffering from. I was under the impression there would be a free voice that sang the neo-revolutionary songs of education, upliftment, and enlightenment. A voice that would be from the streets and neighborhoods, not another one coming to use the people to lift themselves to higher and higher statuses in this political slop-trough.

No matter age, race, gender, religion, political party, fraternal order, or favorite TV reality show, they are all the same. The gods call it Self-Savior! You must save yourself before you save others. Or do for yourself before you do for others.

This time will be used to self-assess and re-commit to old friends and patch up those relationships towards regaining what was lost and needs to be returned to the royals in Milwaukee. Before we exodus from this great unholy wilderness, we must set the wheels in motion to join the crusades of 2011-2012. set forth the winds of change!!!               

"Goal Setting"

We set goals in nearly everything we do. Consciously or unconsciously, we set goals and benchmarks to push ourselves in an attempt to be better. Basketball players practice and focus on the techniques and mechanics of the Jump Shot. His goal maybe to raise his statistics of hitting jump shots. A singer will practice and develop their range to hit higher notes and use their voice in new innovative tones. Goal-setting is used to motivate a person to reach for goals and raise their “stakes” weather those stakes are for amateur, professional, or self-enlightenment.

I have tried to set goals, but I tend to fail and not complete the goal or even the benchmark measurements. I’ve always been like that. It comes from being spoiled. I never had the parents that would ride me into doing something. Don’t get me wrong, Ray and Sherry were and are very supportive, but if I didn’t want to do something, they wouldn’t press me. I guess due to their hard and well disciplined up bringing, my parents felt they would go easier on their children. As a parent now, I see that was more a hindrance than actually helping me. I started many sports and activities, but for one reason or another, I never completed them or continued. Now, let’s fast forward 30-years!!!

You all know one thing about me! If you don’t know anything else, “I love Gracie Jiu-Jitsu!!!” I found this beautiful and effective art as a nearing to be old man and have embraced it fully. Still, I fail at making and maintaining goals and benchmarks. Fail seems to be a very harsh term. I’m not failing to make the goals, but being a working parent and student creates less opportunity to maintain goals for myself in jiu-jitsu. That’s all soon to change. June this year will mark my fifth year training Gracie Jiu-Jitsu. It’s been a hard, draining, painful road. I’ve met many great friends and have actually lost a few good friends. My family has grown in and around jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu has been around for the good and bad times.

In my goal development, I want to make long and short goals. There should be weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual goals all, which lead to the final goal of “whatever!!” I have a great support system in my family and now assisting with that support system are my teammates I currently train with. No one ever does anything alone. It’s just a fact. Everyone needs somebody to lean on and help. I’m developing and will be maintaining those goals and benchmarks on this blog to show my achievements and failures only to utilize them in helping myself and others.   

  

"11-Years and Still Going!!!!"

I’m on the last two week before my wife and I are to celebrate our 11^th Wedding Anniversary. Darn, it’s been that long. I spoke with my father last night and said he and my mom have been married for 46 years. My mother’s parents have been married for 60 years. It seems as though I come from a family who believes in and cherish the bond of marriage. Sounds cool! In today’s fast pace and high tech digital age, marriage and its purpose seem to be taking a backseat to union and family values.

How many friends do I have who are not married, have never been married, and have no taste to be married? Too many. The majority of our (Daniela and I) friends are single. I have never been an advocate of married and single people hanging out together. It just does not work. Married people do married people things, whereas single people do single people things. My single friends go out during the week. I cannot go out during the week because I need to make sure my wife and children are good for the next day. My single friends go out to look for women. I do not need to be in that environment because I have a wife and that would only create atmospheres of temptations. Now, do not get it twisted, I have single friends and will not give them up. The difference is, those friends would never do anything to jeopardize my marriage and actually are strong advocates of my wife and I being married.

My wife and I are in love. We have issues every now and again. We tend to care, sometimes, about the other so much we forget about ourselves. We both believe in that old school marriage of each of us having duties and sharing others. I hope we are blessed by God to get to where my parents and grandparents are. I guess as long as we focus on one another and our family and ourselves more, we can do it.

On May 27^th of this year, we celebrate our 11^th year. It will only be a testimonial of our love for one another and our fabu-children.

I love you through any and everything. I just want you to take care of yourself like you take care of our family, 3!!!!    

“Holla At ‘Cha Boy!!!”

Sitting at the Mac writing this post while listing to my playlist. Just cleaned up the house with my baby girl and youngest son. Since I’m off today and it’s so beautiful out, I’m going to attempt to ride the vibe and be in beautiful spirits. I’m not going to let anyone bring me down. Life is too short to let negative people destroy your idea of peace and serenity.

Yesterday, I trained with my coach, Red Schafer. We did Combat Conditioning at the gym. Dude, it was touch!!! It was tough, but I feel good. My arms are tight and my confidence has risen a little!! Today the youth program starts at the gym. I think I’ll take my youngest two up there to checkout the class.

If you want to train with some killer coaches in an awesome environment, you should come check out Red Schafer MMA @ 811 E. Vienna Ave. here in Milwaukee, WI.

   

"Old Dude and Jiu Jitsu"

Here I stand at forty years old practicing “a young man’s sport” and loving it. I literally love Gracie Jiu Jitsu. It was not always like that. It grew on me and helped me understand the importance of knowing jiu jitsu to prevail in hand-to-hand street situations. I truly believe through jiu jitsu and the culture it has helped develop here in the United States, we can create stronger bonds with others generate more peaceful and harmonious atmospheres for the younger ones who practice the art.

Five years ago, I walked into Henry Matamoro’s Brazilian Jiu Jitsu School on South Kay Kay Avenue in Bayview. It was cool. I trained with a great team of super-guys and teammates. I rarely trained with Sensei Henry mostly I trained with the likes of Scott Huston, Red Schafer, and Dr. Tim. These guys were awesome!!! Scott Huston is an awesome coach and competitor. He is a 2X Pan AM Champion. Red Schafer is also a very good coach and competitor and a professional MMA Fighter. Dr. Tim did not compete much, but he is one of the best coaches I have ever trained with in any sport. He is very technical and very focused on the fundamentals.

After the higher-ranking belts at Matamoro’s left for Roufusports, I found my way to Kenosha to train under Dave Rosenmarkle. Dave was great because not only does he have great jiu jitsu and is an awesome coach, Dave is a family man and could understand the dynamics of being a working father and in school as I did when I trained at Gracie Barra Wisconsin. Unfortunately, things happen and I was not able to attend class as much as I should have. I was promoted by Dave and received all of my stripes from him. With having troubles getting to Kenosha three times each week, I went to train under Scott Huston at his new school called 360 BJJ School in Wauwatosa. Scott Huston is a beast!!! He trains under Comprido (FLO MMA, IL). While training at 360 BJJ, I fell under economic distress and mild-depression. It was bad! It got to the point that Scott was going to let me continue to train without payment, but I do not like being carried. I pay what I owe. So I left 360 BJJ.

After a few months of vagabonding around to different school and multiple coaches, I went to Roufusports and joined up to train under the head jiu jitsu coach at that time, Red Schafer due to our relationship from Matamoro’s. I trained with Aaron Bridges, but due to their schedule change, I was again left out. Also, the day I joined Roufusports, I did not know, Red was leaving to start his own school. DAMN IT!!! “Can a brother get a break?” I said enough is enough; I called Red and shortly after joined with Red Schafer MMA.

Al of the moving from school to school and coach to coach, I was tired. I just love jiu jitsu. I know there are many things in jiu jitsu I will never grasp, but I love the art. I am not trying to be an MMA Fighter. I so not want to compete on a big scale or be a grappling competitor. My interest in jiu jitsu is to prepare my children and myself for hand-to-hand street encounters. I love the self-defense curriculums and want to teach the self-defense curriculum to youth.      

Soon I will be facing a momentous opportunity to grow as a jiu jitsu player and an all around human being. Every jiu jitsu player goes through growth and I am proud that my coach and friend believe in me. Five long and rocky years culminating into one day. My goal is not to disappoint him, my team, or my family. This is what jiu jitsu does. It bonds you with others you would rarely interact with in any other environment.

I want to use jiu jitsu as the tool to help me center myself and better my situation in life.

Ray Matthews Jr.

Red Schafer MMA 

"Career or Passion???"

When I pulled up from work this evening, I was welcomed with a group of neighborhood kids at the unit connected to our townhouse. There were about nine-to-twelve early teenage boys. Some of the boys were on bikes and others standing on the neighbor’s porch. The problem seemed to be that we’re not used to this. We’re not used to being the “Neighborhood Hangout” and our kids aren’t typical youth. They have been so guarded by Daniela and I they tend to not understand “Neighborhood Kids”. It’s funny if you see it. They are so foreign to the realities of life.

Yesterday, Daniela had a taste of our earlier passion of working with and assisting youth. Our neighbor has a granddaughter who seems to be the neighborhood “Jump Down” attracting boys, boys, and more boys to the house in hopes to get in her panties. How critical am I when I was that dude with my crew? It’s wild.

I think she needs to strongly think about getting back into the field of youth and family services. Daniela is the greatest with youth. Hey, she must be, she deals with me daily.   

  

What's in a Name???

What does it take to name a child today? When my wife was pregnant with our first child, we ran through names and actually came up with some funny ones and some very strange ones. We finally settled on creating a name with meaning; a cultural and family-based meaning. We knew/know people are judged by their names. Some schools, jobs, organizations accept or deny prospects due to name alone. We thought long and hard about this. In the end, we felt it was our duty to honor our child with the lineage of his strong bloodline.

N’kya N’neke Yamilles, Radolph Umoja Nasir Gomar Oz Dubar, Naim Nuru Andrew, Chief Roberts (El Dorado Police Dept.), and Nile Jihad Akebulon

Create a name of positive energy and with care and nurturing and the child will grow into it.