"SACRIFICE...."

On some level, I feel as though I’m cheating my sons from having what I had as a teenager living at home with my family. My sons have been very patient and very understanding in their current living conditions. I’m sorry, I said that like they live in a garage with no roof attached. No, they’re in the house, I just want them to have it feel more like it’s their spot. You know, with their own décor of posters, a desk, nick-nacks, etc. It would be cool to surprise them. That would be cool. I could actually do that with the help of their Aunt Sherry up in Montello, WI. The kids love visiting with her and her family and visa versa.

Why am I getting excited right now and I’m just thinking of a possible plan? I’m so goofy, Hahahaha… Wow, it’s 5:38 in the morning and this is what I’m on. I owe it to them. We have a few things to straighten out, but overall, Daniela and I have some very awesome children. This is why I’m always putting them first. Everything I am is because of Daniela and our four beautiful babies. At this juncture in our family, I’m searching to make them proud of me as their father, a man and as their Mother’s husband. I know it may sound weird hearing someone say that, but I come from a place where acceptance from the world isn’t important to me. Acceptance from my woman and our children means the world to me without question or doubt.

Yesterday, we went to Golden Coral for breakfast. On the ride back from Waukesha, the conversation took a short detour. We got on the conversation of married couples and even those in relationships, but not yet, married and their financial stances. I’ve worked since I was 15-years old. My first job was as a “Sacker” at Safeway in El Dorado, AR. When people were grocery shopping, it was my job to put their groceries in bags (paper bags) and carry them to their vehicles and set them in the their vehicle. I got paid every Friday and it was the best thing since butter on rice. Well, when Daniela and I found that she was pregnant with Nasir (our firstborn), my mentality about many things changed. For example, I didn’t hang out with my friends as I once did. I was focused on Daniela and her health with the pregnancy. I would get paid and give her my paycheck. No questions asked, I’d just give it to her. Now, I know couples who maintained separate finances and would even do things separate with their money as though they were living single lives. Hey, do you! I just come from a different ideology.

You all have heard me say my father and the men I grew up around taught me how to love and be a man to my wife. Well, in those many hours, day and even years of learning how to love a woman and be a ‘real’ man, I had an epiphany. It came clear that if I claim to love this woman and if I feel she loves me, we bond in everything. It’s the idea of “What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours.” Sharing is so important in maintaining healthy relationships. Did you hear that? I didn’t say maintain a relationship. Hey, I know people who hate one another, but who remain together because they’re comfortable being there. I said ‘Healthy Relationships.’ I’m the man who loves her and dedicates my every breath to her happiness. It becomes my driving force to do everything I can tomake her happy and comfortable. It just so happened Daniela felt the same way and in sacrificing for the other person created a momentum of positive natural energy, which cultivated our love for one another and our family. Now with my wife gone, I still have that motivation, drive and passion with nowhere to go. Sometimes, I feel as though, I’m going to explode. It is what it is…

When you are in a relationship and don’t share or sacrifice, I feel you’re anticipating the relationship’s demise. Why would you jump into anything you don’t see yourself completing or staying in through to the end? It would be counter-productive.

So, in that idea, I ask for you guys and gals to jump in and have faith in the relationship you’re pursuing. Sacrifice yourselves in the idea of love and building a family for you and your children. Love one another like you know the world’s end date. Love hard and often. Damn this neo-thinking of being politically correct and not showing affection in public. Show it in public. Teach these younger folks that it’s okay for a man to love a woman and be“Boo’ed Up” as the kids say. Let them know there’s nothing wrong with having one mate and staying with that one person without having to sleep around or cheat. Relationships are beautiful and natural. They aren’t easy, but if youput the work in, they are so worth it. You know if the person you’re with or interested in is interested in having the same thing. Get what you know you deserve.

Thanks for listening. We’ll talk soon.