"Back W/ My Insomnia..."

Well, it's official! I'm suffering from an inability to sleep normal hours and function properly. I knew it was gonna kick, but not this soon. Luckily, I'm able to watch one if my favorite shows (Supernatural) while I try to return to slumberland. Nile is knocked out on the couch and Nkya is in her room asleep. Yeah... You already know, Nasir and Naim are both with their cousins this weekend.

I had a rough day yesterday. Damn, I've not had one in a few weeks and it was very heavy on my spirit. Of course it was Daniela based and for some reason, I couldn't get over the moment. It drug on and remained heavy through the entire day. :), its very pressing on my chest carrying the anxiety throughout the day with me. Not feeling competent enough to lead my babies forward. Then with my lack of proper sleeping...

I haven't felt comfortable enough to sleep since Daniela passed. It was easy to rest when she was around because I could trust her and I knew she was watching over me. So many people take that for granted. Having someone you trust so much, you're able to release and allow them to watch over you.



I would always joke that sleep is over-rated and I'll sleep when I'm dead. Well, I wish I could get a good night's sleep, but I worry about my children and our family security so much, it's all I can do and end up sacrificing my own rest. Sad? I know it is.

Due to my lack of proper sleeping habits/practices, I'm sleepy throughout the day and am not able to function as I desire with my children. I'm going to need a new plan because this one isn't working. At least, I'm able to watch a few more episodes of Supernatural. :D!!!

Also, I have the opportunity to refocus and plot out the outlines and storylines for my writing projects. Since, I’m nearly finished with ‘Pine Hill Road Diaries’ and working on ‘Under My Flesh’, which is a compilation of several short stories, I have time to work on those. I’m corresponding with my editor and getting everything ready for self-publication and distribution of ‘Pine Hill Road Diaries’ by the New Year. Personally, I think that’s a cool trade off for sleep. 

Please, if you have any inquiries about my or N’kya’s projects, you can contact me at: rmatthewsjr1@me.com. We would love to discuss them with you and get your input and feedback. 

- Posted By Radolph "Ray" Matthews